Sex and the City 2 Guest Reviewer

I know from movies I have seen you might guess that I have no standards. When it comes to current movie series, there are only two that I am staying away from. The first is Twilight and the second is Sex and the City. In both cases, there is nothing there for me, although Twilight you would think was close, since its about vampires and werewolves.

So, to keep my sanity, I give you an email from a friend regarding her sneak preview of SatC2. This is coming from a woman who has the whole series on DVD and loves the show. Please to enjoy.


The characters have turned into totally parodies of themselves, but mainly it was just cheesy, weak dialogue with some gorgeous settings (and crazy, over-the-top fugly wardrobes) to distract you from the fact that there wasn't a plot. I still contend that Carrie Bradshaw is the reason half of the women in this country are crazy. They're all looking for their "Mr. Big", but what is Big, really. He's a douche who couldn't commit in the show, told her he'd never marry again (and then married a 20-year-old), cheated on said wife with Carrie while Carrie was engaged, and then in the first movie when he FINALLY decided to marry her...he LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR! And the first movie ends with her marrying him anyway in a city hall ceremony.

In the second movie, Big tells Carrie that he wants a "break" from their marriage two days a week, where they live apart. Come on, if any of my friends dated this loser for more than two seconds, I'd tell her to kick him to the curb for good. In the era of Tiger Woods and Jesse James, women should know better than to idolize Carrie Bradshaw. I know all of this sounds like way too serious a reaction to a movie, but women do try to live the Carrie lifestyle. And it's all style and no substance.

Prince of Persia

In 1995, I got a Mac computer. And when I say "I" that means my folks got one for our house to be used by four kids and one father. We got a disc of demo games with the computer. One of the demos was two levels of Prince of Persia. It was a fun game. You could use the arrows to get a guy to walk up to a wall and jump straight up in the air (pictured above). It was just fun enough to play two levels. I guess they made a new version of the game a couple years ago for Playstation, but I know nothing about it. Now they use sands of time. 


The movie title is based on one of the games. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I understand not wanting to call your sequels "Part 2". But why on Earth would you have a colon hyphen for your first movie. People like to shorten titles, not lengthen them. Dreamworks advertised "How to Train Your Dragon" as "Dragons". If I said "did you watch Arrested last night?" you know that I was talking about Arrested Development. You'd also wonder why I was talking to someone about a show that was cancelled four years ago.


So, how is the movie? Well, its made by Disney, who has successfully marketed three Pirate movies that were each over 2 and a half hours long. They made Nicolas Cage run around looking for secret books that Presidents hide. Its along those lines. This time they have Jake Gyllenhaal pretend he is middle eastern decent (a plot device keeps us from complaining by having him be adopted). It has Gemma Atherton, who I forgot was a red head in the last James Bond movie. Alfred Molina shows up for comedic effect sans the funny parts. 


This one will be easily forgotten. But it had some parkor, which I guess is still popular. There are a lot of sets that look like sets. There are a lot of the close shots and quick cuts that make me feel like no one can frame an action shot anymore. No one can choreograph fight scenes.  Some day in ten years there will be people flipping by TBS asking "what is this again?" And the reply will be "the one where Donnie Darko looks like a video game fighting snakes".  


Did you enjoy it?
Eh. Sort of.

Would you see it in theaters again?
No

Would you buy it?
No

Would you rent it?
No

Would you watch it if you saw it was on TV?
No

Motion City Soundtrack covers Pavement

Back in the early 1890's a group of single cell organisms climbed out of the primordial ooze to create an influencial band. Do you get the joke? I'm old. Anyways, The Onion AV Club has been putting on a great cover series. Well now they've got one of my favorite songs being covered. And they do a good job. And I have to get hip replacement surgery soon. Hopefully in time to see Pavement reunion at Pitchfork this summer.

Dear Netflicks

Sometimes, things are self explanatory.