Fast Five

Since I haven't seen the other four movies (besides some clips and trailers) I figured I might as well review the movie before I see it on Tuesday. Here goes:

Vin Diesel returns as Johnny Fast with his partner Paul Walker (aka Billy Furious). This time they have to steal a safe full of 100 million dollars. They're going to need help. So they bring back everyone else who's been in the other movies. But wait, Dwayne "Five" Johnson is an FBI agent on their tail. And thus begins the story of a manhunt. Will people die? Will people betray each other? Will there be fast cars?

I do recognize the anomaly that each progressive sequel has actually made me more interested in seeing these movies. The first one was about underground street races. Then they did it again. Then they went to Tokyo to drift (who knows?). Then they came back to steal gas tanks. Now they're stealing money. I like heist movies. Moving away from street racing while keeping the fast cars is actually a good move. The titles are ridiculous ever since the second one was called Too Fast Too Furious (I stared at those bus stop ads every day for like 6 months). I hope the next one is just called Faaaaaast (6 a's).

Will you enjoy it?
Maybe.

Would you see it in theaters again?
Oh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Would you buy it?
Lord No.

Would you rent it?
Unlikely.

Would you watch it if you saw it was on TV?
If the first 4 are any indication, No.