Predators

I was looking for a Predators poster for my post. Google search came back with the mostly boring posters of the new movie, but also some from the first movie with Arnold Schwartzenegger. Not a lot of love for Danny Glover and part two. Instead I went with this funny tee shirt design. I was getting close to spending more time on the picture than I planned to spend on the review.

So, they want to reboot the Predator franchise. You might consider what they did a good start. Then again, you might not. First Predator movie, awesome. The second one, not as bad as everyone remembers. Especially if you compare it to the two miserable Alien v Predator movies. Let's ignore those for now.

The general mythology at is that Predators are hunters. They come to Earth to hunt dangerous men. If you don't have a weapon in your hand, they don't consider you a threat and leave you alone. In the first movie, they hunt a secret army killing squad. In the second one, they hunt drug dealer thugs and cops. In the new movie, they take all of what they consider the "worst killers" on Earth, and bring them to their "game preserve".

So, first issue. A hunter usually goes to their game's natural habitat to hunt. By bringing the people to you, it's like going to the zoo with a rifle. Even I can bag some big game there. It seems lazy. Okay, maybe these are training hunters. Not ready to go out and hunt on other planets. Eh.

So the movie has created a group of people to be picked off one by one. They all play nice and try to find out how to get off the planet (once the twist that they're not on their planet is shown, in case you missed all the commericals).

The movie kind of hits all the wrong notes. It tries to remind you of the old movies with easter eggs that mostly ring false. It doesn't seem like fans plugged these in, they were on a list somewhere. Please include skeletons with spines, skinned bodies, someone shirtless in mud, falling over a waterfall. Thank you.


Did you enjoy it?
Meh. After it was over I thanked my partner for enduring the film with me.

Would you see it in theaters again?
Only if it was running as a triple feature with part one and two.

Would you buy it?
Nerp.

Would you rent it?
Unlikely.

Would you watch it if you saw it was on TV?
Didn't I tell you I lost my free HBO last week?